Sunday, January 02, 2005

Duhnununt... Duhnununt. (That's how you spell the music from Sportscenter)

"You know... this is what life is all about." I muse to myself tranquilly as my body contorts and twists through the air. I ponder the juxtaposition of Earth... Sky...Earth.. Sky... and inevitably, it ends with earth.

The impact when my upper torso hits the ground is just barely sufficient to knock several inches off my height and simultaneously pop a few of my toenails off.

I feel like I'm forgetting something... so with an audible pop, I dislodge my head from the mud and squint as I look up at the sky. As I watch a motorcycle roughly the size of a semi trailer eclipse the sun and begin to descend toward my already tenderized body I think, "Maybe I should have gotten a lighter bike."

Scrambling madly like an upended tortoise, I succeed in moving all my vital organs away from ground zero... but place my right knee directly below the falling hammer.

Once the damage is complete, I try to remember how to breathe for a few seconds, and then realize that my son is coming around the same corner that cleaned my clock. I have a decision to make. I can lay here and wait for the paramedics like a wuss, or I can be vertical when he makes visual contact.

As he sees me I give him a big touchdown signal to let him know I'm fine, reach down and pick up my newly rearranged bike, and think "Note to self... slow down before the turn."


I know my mom reads this sometimes, so although it should be obvious, I have to say that this is a slightly exagerrated account. I'm fine, we had a blast today, and no Drill Sergeants were seriously hurt in the filming of today's highlight reel. My knee hurts, but it's nothing that a coffee cup full of Motrin won't fix.


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