Friday, March 25, 2005

Bear attack...

“Wake up! Why are you sleeping on guard while your buddies think you’re watching your sector? You’re gonna get someone killed Private!”

“But Drill Sergeant… I wasn’t…I didn’t go to sleep, I…”

(Private wilts visibly as I give him ‘the look’. You know… that ‘You should know better by now but I can tell that you’re gonna go ahead and embarrass yourself anyway if I let you’ look.

“Soldier… have you ever been attacked by a bear?”

Soldier gets a wary expression on his face. He knows that something bad is coming, but doesn’t understand where I’m going with this yet.

“No Drill Sergeant”

“Do you know anyone who has ever been attacked by a bear?”

“No Drill Sergeant”

“Do you know what you should do if you ARE attacked by a bear?”


“Think hard Private”

“Play um… play dead Drill Sergeant?”

“That’s brilliant soldier… because you know you’re not gonna kick that bear’s ass, don’t you Private?”

Um… yes Drill Ser… I mean No Drill Sergeant… yes I know I’m not… Drill Sergeant.”

“You are gonna lay there and play dead while he chews on your ass for a little while… hoping that he will eventually get bored and decide to leave without actually eating you, right Private?”

“Yes Drill Sergeant”

“So tell me, Private, have you ever won an argument with a Drill Sergeant? Have you ever said something along the lines of ‘I wasn’t sleeping Drill Sergeant, I was just resting my head on my weapon and lying in the prone position with my eyes closed’ and had that Drill Sergeant say ‘OK Private… that’s fine, carry on’ And walk away?”

(Private has figured out where I was going with this)

“No Drill Sergeant”

“Then why, oh why, don’t you just shut your piehole and say ‘Yes Drill Sergeant’ and resolve to stay awake, no matter how sleepy you get, so we can all get on with our lives?

(Ummm... because I'm a moron? lol)


Actually, I'm pretty happy with this bunch of Soldiers. We've shed most of the dead weight at this point in the cycle. We lost a few to injury and illness that I wish we had kept, but the ones who are here now are probably some of the best trained Soldiers I've ever had. They can actually run a little bit too.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you're right on track and not many people are willing to admit that they share your views. animal lost is an AWESOME place to discuss LOST.

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you like dog love must pug you may very well like this site dog love must pug

4:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you like dog treat you may very well like this site dog treat

5:43 AM  
Blogger Music Center said...

Hi, Thanks for your interesting blog. Keep up the great work! I also have a site & blog about music, please feel free to visit.

8:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Furry bearer of unconditional love, affection, companionship - and a rocket-powered babe magnet to boot.Rearing a dog is like rearing a kid. Some dog owners PREFER to rear dogs than kids. But rearing & caring a dog take up a lot of your time.
You can also check out the news section at :

"Latest News"

You can almost see your new dog right now . . . running in the sun, chasing Frisbees, doing adorable tricks, puking on the rug at 3 a.m., chewing up your entire porno collection, shedding on everything in sight . . . Still want a dog? Then step right up, you've come to the right place.


Our website provides a portal with all your dog care needs in one place. We know what's its like owning a dog and nurturing him/her till maturity. Its a hard job. You can bookmark this website so that you can come back again and again for all your unanswered question.

You can also order our dog owners guide that goes in depth the process of evaluation yourself and environment for a suitable dog companion.


4:19 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home