Friday, June 17, 2005

Ohh the humanity...

sick bastards.

I suspect a worldwide plot involving all branches and sects of this nefarious organization. Behind their annoying, space cadet, uber-hippie, do-gooder facade lurks a sinister purpose. The retriever your parents told you ran away when you were 13? Kidnapped and tortured by PETA. Your hamster that disappeared? Abducted by PETA. Jake the snake? (sobbing) Possibly being tortured by PETA this very instant.

(Using the same definition of torture used by Democrat Senator Durbin from IL, this could be almost anything. I torture people all the time. Anytime we go train in the outdoors for weeks at a time in the winter... we are being tortured... because it's cold. When one of my Joes in the barracks plays his music too loud, he isn't annoying or inconsiderate... he's a WAR CRIMINAL. One time about 2 years ago we had a bunch of soldiers get sick from something in the chow hall. One of them was running the next morning and pooped his pants. TORTURE!!! Anyway... I'm getting off topic...)

Ok well... enough making fun of PETA. I'm going to go have a big FAT DIP OF COPENHAGEN!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

OK... no I won't. I'm just gonna go sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the wall wishing that I had a BIG FAT DIP OF COPENHAGEN!!!!!

(clenches and unclenches fists several times.... sound of teeth grinding... )

I'm going to go sign up for some Muay Thai classes today... did I mention that?

Have a great tobacco free day. Especially all you people who have never quit and couldn't possibly understand the agony.

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