Harry V. Jaffa

I found a great conservative writer if anyone is interested. Harry V. Jaffa is a professor at Claremont McKenna college and a contributing writer for Imprimis (a great publication of Hillsdale College). Very interesting reading for anyone even slightly interested in politics or history.

How are they going to ignore/spin this one??

UN inspectors say that Iraq smuggled out WMDs and long range missiles before, during and after 2003 war.

Graduation Day…

Well, it’s finally almost over. I was thinking earlier about what to blog today and I’m a little bit surprised that Graduation Day wasn’t the first thing that jumped to mind.

I have to admit this cycle was a little tougher than the last one. The soldiers were different… but they’re always different… and the same. I think what made this cycle tougher was, in large part, a sense of frustration among the Drill Sergeants. Nothing really bad, nothing we can’t handle, but it just wasn’t quite as much fun this time.

A lot of Drills are getting close to the end of their involuntary third year extension. Most come here with the expectation of a tough two years on the trail, and either going back to the line or (if they are willing to take a chance on hurting their career) taking some sort of easy assignment. When everybody got involuntarily extended a lot of plans changed. Everybody gripes, but everybody also understands why it had to happen and will do their duty regardless of personal preference… that’s why it’s called service. In better circumstances though, most probably wouldn’t spend three years “on the trail” in BCT.

Everybody has his or her own reasons for eventually getting burnt out to some extent. Some just hate the hours, some hate the politics, some hate the grinding sameness of cycle after cycle, some hate sitting on the sidelines while everybody else does what they’ve trained their whole career to do.

I hate a little bit of all of this… a lot of the last one.

But believe it or not it is nearly impossible to hate training the soldiers.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when they drive you absolutely nuts with their apparent stupidity. I often wonder exactly how many villages out there are missing their idiots for 9 weeks. But it isn’t really stupidity and we know this. It is ignorance, and that is our reason for existence. We try to replace that ignorance with a basic set of soldier skills, discipline, values, physical and emotional strength and pride that will be the foundation they build their career on.

They drive you crazy with their incessant deluge of questions…

…ranging from the mundane “Drill Sergeant, may I use the latrine Drill Sergeant?” (350 times a day. I’m convinced that most soldiers have bladders the size of a gumball.)

…to the trivial “Drill Sergeant, when can I buy some cool jungle boots like yours Drill Sergeant?” (Usually during some critical piece of instruction on a completely unrelated topic)

…to the tragic “Drill Sergeant, I just found out my sister is in the hospital with a gunshot wound back home… can I use the phone Drill Sergeant?” (Unfortunately, when you have around 200 soldiers here for 9 weeks, there are always going to be a certain amount of tragedies. It is one of the toughest and most critical parts of the job. Dealing with a soldier who has a legitimate heartbreaking crisis is one of those times when you sometimes have to “take the hat off” for a little while.)

…to the absurd “Drill Sergeant, what should we do if flying monkeys with laser beams on their foreheads suddenly crash through the window while we are pulling fireguard Drill Sergeant? (“PVT Krumme*… WERE YOU RAISED BY FREAKING WOLVES??!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT KIND OF SELF CONTROL IT TAKES NOT TO POP YOUR EYES OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS AND DRAG YOU OUT OF THIS BAY BY THE SKULL??!! HOW DO YOU ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE STUPIDEST POSSIBLE THING TO SAY AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT WOULD BE??!! START CRUSHING YOURSELF!! PUT YOURSELF ON AUTOSCUFF UNTIL I GET TIRED!!”).

(PVT Krumme* was absolutely one of my favorite soldiers this cycle. Although he wasn’t stupid, he acted dumber than a shoebox full of moldy scabs most of the time. He was always motivated though, and if given clear instructions he could be counted on to give it his best effort. He required … and wanted… constant attention, but he will be an awesome private for some NCO out there.)

(*Name slightly changed to protect the guilty as hell)

But in reality, it’s just 200 soldiers asking normal questions at a moderate cadence. They might only ask a really stupid question once a week… but that averages out to about 28 truly asinine questions every day for us.

The soldiers are there for the same reason we were many years ago, and the ones who make it are the future of our military. They will someday be standing in my highly shined boots, pulling their hair out because they have fallen victim to that oldest of curses. They now HAVE KIDS WHO ACT JUST LIKE THEY DID. I know I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to that. I still remember all the stupid things we did during basic training. Some the Drill Sergeants found out about and some they didn’t.

*TANGENT ALERT*

It was a little different back then though. (Ft Benning is a whole different animal anyway, even today, and it should be.)

I remember getting into a stupid shoving match with another soldier, and our Drill Sergeants telling us to “take it to the woodline” and don’t come out till it was over. We did. It was awesome. My buddy had two slightly black eyes, a swollen (maybe cracked) nose and bloody boot marks all over his ribcage. I had a swollen misshapen nugget and absolutely the biggest black eye I have ever seen lol. The fight lasted so long we actually took a water break in the middle of it. As much as I would like to say otherwise though, I think he probably won by judges’ decision. The blackeye shot ended it; we called it quits, and ran out of the woodline side by side. I never had a problem with him before or after that day.

I don’t know if my Drills really expected us to throw down like we did. Standing in their shoes now, I expect they were a little worried about what we would say when the CO started asking questions lol. We both came up with the same stupid unbelievable story though, and stuck to it.

(“Sir, We were on the FTX and I was running at night. I ran into a tree, Sir.)

The CO was pissed, but he couldn’t make us say otherwise so he finally gave up in frustration. Not a shining example of integrity by any means, but I felt like it was an absolute display of loyalty to my Drill Sergeants. (Anyone thinking of joining the military ignore what you just read. It is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable to lie to any officer (Commissioned or Non Commissioned) about anything. Do as I say, not as I did when I was a dumbass, jackleg Private.)

*TANGENT CONCLUDED*

Back to the soldiers of this cycle though…
Honestly there were many times when I would come out of a meeting where we got some sort of bad news about somebody’s “good idea” or new tasking, and instead of being more pissed off when I saw the soldiers, it actually would make me feel better. Reminding me that although the details and daily frustrations might change, the song remains the same. Train the Privates, Drill Sergeant… It’s not about you; it’s about them.

So if you indulge tonight, hoist a glass for the mighty 4th Platoon Bushmasters. They are a hard-headed bunch of turds… but they’re MY turds, and I hope they all have as much fun, satisfaction, camaraderie and pride as I have had so far in my career. It’s a tough time to be a soldier, but the fair-weather soldiers will fade away, and the hard core of true professionals will remain to carry this Army forward into the next decades of the War.

Chapter 4 ...

(yeah I know it has a sappy ending... but I didn't write it for YOU so deal with it lol.)

Chapter Four


All the people

who had come to admire the beast

inside the cage,

suddenly decided that they had somewhere better to be

now that it was outside the cage.



They pushed and shoved as they crowded

out the door of the tent.

Princess Kelly grabbed hold of Princess Cypress’ hand,

and tried to reach James’ hand as well,

but the rushing crowd of people

pushed between them

and suddenly Kelly couldn’t see her brother any more.




Kelly heard a ferocious growl

coming from RIGHT BEHIND HER.

She looked back over her shoulder

just in time to see the lion leap from the stage

and start running toward her.




"Run Cypress!" Kelly said

as she started toward the door.

The two girls ran and ran,

through the crowd

and as far away from the tent

as they could.




"We have to do something," said Cypress,

"Before somebody else gets hurt,

Who doesn’t deserve it."




Princess Kelly felt very scared.

She knew that if somebody didn’t go let her father, the King,

know about the lion,

then the lion might bite somebody else’s head off as well.


But it was a long, long way

from where they had stopped running

to the main entrance

where her father was looking at the latest hunting equipment.




"We’ll never make it in time," cried Cypress.

Kelly looked around frantically

and tried to come up with an idea.

Suddenly she saw a huge white horse

standing alone a few tents away.

The horse was obviously the one

that had belonged to the young man

who set the lion free.




"Follow me, Cypress!"

said Princess Kelly.

She ran toward the horse

and Princess Cypress tried to keep up,

Princess Kelly was a very fast runner.



As they got closer to the horse,

Kelly saw that the lion was running around

threatening to eat people

and generally behaving like a very bad lion indeed.




Princess Kelly knew that she wasn’t tall enough

to climb on the horse by herself,

so she led the horse

over to a table and chairs

that sat outside a big blue tent.



She climbed up on the chair first,

and then onto the table,

and from there she was just barely tall enough

to climb onto the horse’s saddle.




Cypress climbed on behind her

and Kelly held onto the reins very tightly.

"Hold on tight, Cypress!" said Kelly,

and they began to gallop

through the carnival

toward the entrance.




The King was holding a large crossbow

and apparently trying to convince the Queen

how badly he needed it for his next hunt,

when Kelly rode up next to them.




"But Queen Traci,

all the kings are using the newest equipment.

I’ll look like a fool if I show up

with my old wooden bow… "


The King looked up in surprise.



"Kelly!

What on earth are you doing

riding that horse around like that?!"




Kelly quickly told him about the lion

and the young man who had been eaten up by him.




The King was amazed and jumped onto his own horse,

still carrying the crossbow.

"Lead the way, Kelly!" he said

as the Crossbow salesman began to yell

something about breaking it and buying it.




The queen quickly pulled out her royal express card

and handed it the salesman

while she looked sourly and suspiciously

at her husband.




Kelly took off on the horse as fast as she could go.

She was scared to be heading back toward the lion,

but it wasn’t quite as bad now that her Dad was with her.

Soon they could hear the growling and screaming

from the lion and all the frightened people ahead of them.




Just as they got within about 150 meters,

the lion cornered a little old lady and had her trapped.

There was no way to get a better shot in time.

If they were going to save the sweet old woman’s life,

it would have to be from here.




The king swung down from his horse,

and dropped to a knee.

He took up a good steady position

and remembered to control his breathing.

He began to squeeze the trigger

as his sights settled on the lions shoulder.




"Don’t forget to take the safety off, Dad,"

said Kelly helpfully.


"Of course not,"

grumbled the King

as Kelly heard a loud click

from the crossbow.




The king settled his sights once more

and gently squeezed the trigger.




"THWACK!"




The expanding broadhead and carbon shaft

of the crossbow bolt made a loud noise

as it hit the lion

exactly where it was supposed to.




The lion fell to the ground

just as it began to leap at the old woman.

The old woman fell to the ground

as she fainted from fear.

Kelly and Cypress fell to the ground

in relief as they realized that the danger had passed.

And the King fell to the ground

as the Queen whacked him in the side of the head

with the royal purse.




"We are going to talk about this later."

The queen said as she put her royal express card

back into the purse.

She immediately turned her shoulder to the king

and rushed over to pick up princess Kelly.

Princess Cypress’ parents ran over at the same time.



"Nice shot bro," said King Carlos.


The Kings high-fived and started talking about ballistics,

while the queens fussed over their brave daughters.




"Where did you get this horse, Kelly?"

asked the Queen.

Kelly explained that it had belonged to the young man

sent by "Pee-tah"


"Can I keep it… Pleeeease?" asked Kelly.

She smiled her biggest smile

and batted her eyes at her parents.



Before her mother could open her mouth,

her father had already opened his big mouth

to say yes.


"But you have to take very good care of it

and feed and water him every day…

and you still won’t be able to ride by yourself

until you turn nine." Said her mother.



"Yes, that’s what I was going to say," said the King.




"What are you going to name him?" asked Sir James,

who had just ridden up on his horse

with a new wooden sword in one hand

and a snowcone in the other.




Princess Kelly looked at her beautiful horse

and thought for a moment.

"I’m going to call him Rocky Top,"

she said with a smile,

and they all started the long ride back to the castle.



It had been a big day, filled with a real adventure,

and they all wanted to go home and eat dinner

and just be together as a family

once again.

Chapter 3 completed...

By The Way...

I decided not to edit the story...

I finished it later the same night I think, and she loved it. I don't think I need to post Chapters 1&2. At that point I was still trying to be serious and write a strictly childrens book.

When I read it to her, I glossed over a few pieces lol. She liked it, I liked writing it... and hopefully someone out there will get a good laugh out of it.

Needless to say... Pee-tah came to an unhappy end. Poetic justice is a b*tch lol.

Here's Ch 3... the complete version. I'll put 4 up next.

(Remember that I did write it for the kid though so it's a little sappy.)



Chapter Three


The next day was bright and sunny.

It was perfect weather

for an exciting day of adventure

at the carnival.

The family was getting ready

and Sir James had saddled his horse.




James was thirteen years old.

He had gotten his horse

when he was nine.

It wasn’t given to him though.

He had to earn money

by doing all sorts of hard work

around the castle.

Then, when he had enough money,

his father the king

had helped him shop around

until they found a good deal

on a used horse

with low mileage.




His horse’s name was piccolo.

He was a huge black horse

with a big white spot

right on his nose.




"Hurry up Kelly, we don’t want to miss anything,"

James said with a smile.

Kelly quickly climbed up on Piccolo

with her brother,

and they rode off behind the carriage

to the carnival.




Once they arrived,

they quickly got down off the horse

and followed their parents to the main entrance.

"Stay with your brother and be a good girl, Kelly,"

Said her father.

Cypress’ parents told her the same thing,

and the girls followed Sir James off into the crowd.




Meanwhile their mothers stopped

to look at some beautiful furniture for the castle

while their fathers rolled their eyes

and looked ahead impatiently

to the display of new hunting bows

at the next tent.




The young Prince and Princesses

walked through the crowd very quickly

until they reached the tent

with all the animals in cages.

They gave a quarter to the man at the door

and stepped inside to look at the lions

and tigers

and giraffes

and elephants

and dozens of other beautiful and dangerous creatures.




A strange looking young man,

who smelled very bad

and had crooked teeth,

was causing a commotion by the lions cages.

He didn’t think that lions should be kept in cages,

because he thought it was insensitive

to the lion’s feelings

and might damage their self esteem.




The young man was yelling

that he had been sent by someone

named Peter,

but when he said it,

he had a strange accent,

that made it sound

like he was saying ‘Pee-tah"




Suddenly, he leaped up onto the stage

where the lion cages stood.

He yanked out the pin

that held the door to the cages locked.

The cage doors burst open,

and just as he screamed,

in a very shrill voice,

"Be free, noble beast of the jungle!!",

The lion,

Very ungratefully,

Ate his head.

my first book...

I'm such a smartass...

I can't even stop myself when I'm doing something for my kids lol.

I told my little girl that I would write her a story (since I spend a lot of time typing on the computer and I'm not sure she knows what I'm doing)

(she JUST walked in the door as I wrote that sentence and asked "Is it done yet? lol)

and it started off great... but as I go along I can't help but try to make it funny for me too. Anyway... I figured you knuckleheads would find this amusing so here is what I have so far for Chapter Three...

Chapter Three


The next day was bright and sunny.

It was perfect weather

for an exciting day of adventure

at the carnival.

The family was getting ready

and Sir James had saddled his horse.




James was thirteen years old.

He had gotten his horse

when he was nine.

It wasn’t given to him though.

He had to earn money

by doing all sorts of hard work

around the castle.

Then, when he had enough money,

his father the king

had helped him shop around

until they found a good deal

on a used horse

with low mileage.




His horse’s name was piccolo.

He was a huge black horse

with a big white spot

right on his nose.




"Hurry up Kelly, we don’t want to miss anything,"

James said with a smile.

Kelly quickly climbed up on Piccolo

with her brother,

and they rode off behind the carriage

to the carnival.




Once they arrived,

they quickly got down off the horse

and followed their parents to the main entrance.

"Stay with your brother and be a good girl, Kelly,"

Said her father.

Chelsea’s parents told her the same thing,

and the girls followed Sir James off into the crowd.




Meanwhile their mothers stopped

to look at some beautiful furniture for the castle

while their fathers rolled their eyes

and looked ahead impatiently

to the display of new hunting bows

at the next tent.




The young Prince and Princesses

walked through the crowd very quickly

until they reached the tent

with all the animals in cages.

They gave a quarter to the man at the door

and stepped inside to look at the lions

and tigers

and giraffes

and elephants

and dozens of other beautiful and dangerous creatures.




A strange looking young man,

who smelled very bad

and had bad teeth,

was causing a commotion by the lions cages.

He didn’t think that lions should be kept in cages,

because he thought it was insensitive

to the lion’s feelings

and might damage their self esteem.



_________________________________________

I have the strangest feeling that this young man is about to be eaten by a lion. :)

Well... anyway... I'm off to do a rewrite that will be more suitable for my intended audience.